Healthy diets ?

[Karenh]

Ive just posted this on the blue side and thought some of you hear may appreciate this also!
I apologise for my spelling in advance ~ I received this email today and thought some of you may find it funny as I did.

Question ~Ive heard that cardiovascular excersie can prolong life ~ is this true?
Answer ~ Your heart is only good for so many beats and thats it.... dont waste them on excercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live any longer, thats like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer ~ take a nap!

Q ~ Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegtables?
Answer ~ You must grasp logisitcal efficiences. what does a cow eat? Hay and corn and what are these vegatables ~ so a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegtables to your system. Need grain? eat chicken. Beef is also a good sourve of field grass (green leafy vegtable)

Q ~ Should I lower my alcohol intake?
Answer ~ No not at all. wine is made from fruit, Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made of grain ~bottoms up!

Q ~ Are fried foods good for you?
Your not listening ~ foods are fried these days in vegtable oil in fact they are permeated in it, How can vegtables be bad for you?

Q ~ Will sit ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
Answer ~ Definatley not! When you excersice a muscle it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q ~ Is Chocolate bad for you?
Answer ~ Are you crazy? HELLO cocoa beans! another vegtable! its the best feel good food around.

Q ~ Is swimming good for you?
Answer ~ If swimming is good for your figure, explain Whales to me.
Is getting into shape important for your lifestyle?
Answer ~ Hey round is a shape.

Well I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets,

'Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather a skid in sideways ~ Chardonnay in one hand and chocolate in the other ~ body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming WOO HOO, what a ride!